Mmmmm, Religion!

Not necessarily my personal thoughts on the matter of religion, a bit assish even for me, but damn does it present some pretty good points (and in colorful comic form).

If you're religious, let me know what you think (just try to make it better then "faith", because there's no way to argue that one either way!).

For my next trick...

I will be getting an Octopus' Garden half sleeve (left arm) tattoo! (Okay, it's not really a trick per say but whatever) Anyways, it's going to be an octopus made out of orange/yellow/red flowers. I don't know exactly how it's going to look but Marshal (Atomic Zombie) is going to draw it up for me and it should be as awesome as I think it will be. I have a 4 hour session booked for the 25th of April and he says we should be able to get most of it done then and there!

We would be so happy you and me
No one there to tell us what to do
I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus' garden with you.

Is there a way to compromise while remaining uncompromising?

Weekly I bounce back and forth between what I want to do, not necessarily with my life but with my money. I have two brilliant Ideas that when I start dwelling on one of them the other disappears, becoming ridiculous and absurd. Yet there always comes about some stimulus that will bring the ridiculous and absurd into a new light where it suddenly seems like the only logical course. This cycle repeats at nauseum until all that I can conclude is that I'm the one that is ridiculous and absurd.

On the one hand I dream of going to some foreign slum and blowing all of my money on the simple carnal pleasures of life that you can only find far away from the comforts of home. Lying on beaches, walking through deserts, standing in the shadows of mountains, feeling the cold biting winds of some far off stepp with only a thought to where I will go next.

Or on the other hand there is that nesting instinct telling me to take my money, make a down payment on a house and live the life of a reasonable, respectable human being. There are times when thoughts like this sickens me to death, but other times (now being on of them) that this seems like such a blissful existence. To have a garden to work in, home repairs to putter around with, the simple joy of stability and belonging seems like the kind of comfortable life that I could just lose myself in.

The logical response to my dilemma is of course "Why can't you just have both?" and my answer is that I don't want both. I don't want to be the stable person pretending to be adventurous and I don't want to be the adventurous person who operates with the net that takes away all the risks that he appears to be taking.

My biggest issue I have realized is that there is simply too much possibility, though it likely makes little sense I wish I had some sort of a hindrance, that there was something that set out my path a bit more clearly. Right now I do have school to play that role but in 13 months that disappears and I am left to choose. I'm pretty sure what that's going to turn out to be and I'm not very happy with what I see.

Sorry if this seems like the inane whining of some well off, spoiled, suburbanite but that's what it is. Feel free to smack me when you get the chance, I probably need it.

Oh the things I owe to alcohol

So I don't normally like writing about my day to day life but I think that I'll make an exception here.

So lately I've been looking into doing parkour. I've tried a few vaults and jumps here and there with a fair bit of success but nothing to really get to excited about. Yesterday however I was out drinking with Mark and some of his friends and a guy from Sobeys and when we were walking from one bar to another I started doing some more little jumps.

The guys I was with weren't overly impressed (they seemed to think I should be jumping building to building) and so in my drunken stupor I decided to do a jump over a rail with a decent drop afterwards. I'm not exactly sure what happened, the snow, the take off, the alcohol, but I caught my feet on the bar and bit hard onto my face and my arms.

My arms hurt right after but nothing too terrible so I kept on going on my way to the bar. Once I got there however I realized that I couldn't lift either of my hands to my mouth making eating and drinking very difficult (thank god for straws and TGun).

So needless to say I made the decision to go to the hospital to see what was up. After my xrays and all that the doctor told my that I fractured both my arms in the same place and that they wouldn't cast them because it would fully incapacitate me. So he gave me some drugs, slinged my arm and I walked home and spent probably the most painful night of my life lying in bed trying to find a position where at least one of my arms were comfortable.

So right now I have basically become a T-Rex, the arms are there they just don't do much. I was able to dress myself this morning with allot of pain and have almost figured out how to eat. Apparently I'm not able to work until May and I have no idea how I'm going to even make it to school.

Oh and for those of you who are unsure whether this is funny or sad, it's absolutely hilarious! I mean just imagine someone who can't reach his hands to his face trying to put on glasses or eat.

And Brenna I'm sorry but from what I can tell I willn't be going to the aquatic portion of your birthday. The sad thing is that theoretically I could now shave, but again the hands to face issue arises.

I'm sure there's a lesson here somewhere but I haven't found it yet, so if any of you come up with anything let me know!

Adam

I need babies, many babies!

If I ever have kids I'm going to teach them that this is right:

B + B=C
E x E = KG
KG - G = K
TKA / OF = B

14-15-20_22-5-18-35_3-15-13-16-12-9-3-1-20-5-4_2-21-20_20-8-1-20'19_20-8-5_6-21-14!

And the beauty is that so long as there is no other interference it would make perfect sense and they would be just as smart as anyone else. Not only that but they would see anyone who does not do it this way as being inferior and may even try to teach them to do it the "right" way.

Who's right?

Becasue Brenna wanted to know

In 90 minutes I produce approximately 565mL of urine after consuming 1% of my body weight (volume for weight) of 1% weight for volume isotonic NaCl solution.

Your one sick pup Brenna!

Family Circus Math

I'm sure that you have all seen those Family Circus comics where one of those brick stupid kids is walking around and leaving a hilarious trail of mischief, simply adorable. Anyways that got me thinking about my trail, and heres what I came up with:

Work: walking to and from work around 4 (each way) per week for around 3 years 10 months
52weeks x 3.83 years x 4 x 2
= 1593.28 times walking the same path.
School: 7months of school (factors in breaks) for 2.75 years with 5 trips per week each way.
52weeks x (7/12) x 2.75 x 5 x 2
=834.17 trips on the same fucking bus to nowhere.
Running: 4.5 years 4 times a weeks (corrects for injuries) at around 10km prerun
52weeks x 4.5years x 4 x 8
=7488Km of bliss over the same trails again and again.

Isn't monotony wonderful?